If you are one of these, you have a great future in India. In case you got it wrong, let me tell you, I don’t mean a “wife-kisser”. I mean a “wife-beater” !!
Indian public loves only one sport “wife beating”. People forget to reach offices in time if they spot this sport being played in a street….such is the charm and excitement of watching it. Offices have to wait for their worthy professionals if they are detained either by the metropolis traffic or the ‘live watching’ of this sport. Legally, yes against the law but it is almost fully accepted and OK socially. Law enforcement agencies also don’t have to look the other way, because every one has a wife at home. Moreover, players need practice. Everyone knows that “practice makes a man perfect” and all husbands are “men” ( gentlemen don’t play this game for the reasons best known to them !! ).
As we have Economy, we also have parallel-Economy, which is, in fact, more lucrative and attractive to Indians. Same way, we have Sports and also have Wife-Beating which is more engrossing and attractive, with a… huge… fan-following !!
My personal choice is to watch ‘husband-beating’ actually, but this sport is comparatively new in India. Players are hard to find.
Coming back to our topic, this reminds me of a professor-colleague, who did not have much social exposure. On top of that , he was very young and we all know how rash youth can be, at times. One day, his maid’s husband came to professor’s home looking for the maid. He took ( the maid’s husband not the professor ) the maid outside and started beating her. This professor ( as I told, did not have any social exposure like us ) got so offended that he ( rashly ) went and slapped the maid’s husband. Now it was professor’s turn to have some. No, it was not the maid’s husband who beat the professor, it was the maid. She was really pissed off by the professor’s rash and unexpected intervention / interruption, in what she said was “her privacy”. Game is game, the spectators should not gate-crash the sports-arena !!
After she ( the maid ) finished with the professor, the professor had another surprise ( unpleasant for the professor and pleasant for me – I must have my sport too ) waiting for him – his wife ( professor’s wife ) took over from where the maid had left off. Professor’s wife gave him four juicy ones – two for sympathizing with the beautiful maid and one for searching for a new maid and one for the road. Needless to say that our professor is a changed man, a lot saner and a lot wiser now.
“Wife kissers” on the other hand, I am afraid have no future in India. This dangerous activity is almost unanimously considered dangerous, socially offensive and obscene especially in public. India is a land of sadhus and ascetics.
I know the hostile foreign media will ask this ferocious question that how come, we are almost 130 crores population without that necessary ” wife kissing” ?
Hey, we are a very innovative society. Remember, we are committed to use all energy for peaceful purposes. There are other peaceful, non violent, respectable and safe “saintly-methods” which bear “good character” especially when, our sadhus and ascetics are always more than willing to give a helping hand or two, to contribute their share to nation-building. After all, they don’t do their discourses 24X7. In between they very efficiently “manage time” for other more productive things and courses. They are very liberal and very kind. Their left hand does not know what their right hand is doing and… their followers, don’t know what these saints are doing with “both” their hands. At times, they give kids with their blessings and at times they give blessings with “their” kids !!
Our Sree, Sree & Sree DailyEnjoy alone is, not to mention our bench strength… in the form of Don N.D. Tinwari ( Don Non-Stop Donor Tinwari ), capable of giving a great and nerve shattering inferiority complex to Mr. Vicky Donor… !!
Now a million-dollar question :
Between these two ( ‘kissing’ and ‘beating’ ) which is negative and which is positive ?
‘religiously’ religion-less and ‘religion-less-ly’ religious !!