Wife “Beaters” vs. Wife “Kissers” !!

02 Aug

If you are one of these, you have a great future in India. In case you got it wrong, let me tell you, I don’t mean a “wife-kisser”. I mean a “wife-beater” !!

Indian public loves only one sport “wife beating”. People forget to reach offices in time if they spot this sport being played in a street….such is the charm and excitement of watching it. Offices have to wait for their worthy professionals if they are detained either by the metropolis traffic or the ‘live watching’ of this sport. Legally, yes against the law but it is almost fully accepted and OK socially. Law enforcement agencies also don’t have to look the other way, because every one has a wife at home. Moreover, players need practice. Everyone knows that “practice makes a man perfect” and all husbands are “men” ( gentlemen don’t play this game for the reasons best known to them  !! ).

As we have Economy, we also have parallel-Economy, which is, in fact, more lucrative and attractive to Indians. Same way, we have Sports and also have Wife-Beating which is more engrossing and attractive, with a… huge… fan-following !!  

My personal choice is to watch ‘husband-beating’ actually, but this sport is comparatively new in India. Players are hard to find.

Coming back to our topic, this reminds me of a professor-colleague, who did not have much social exposure. On top of that , he was very young and we all know how rash youth can be, at times.  One day, his maid’s husband came to professor’s home looking for the maid. He took ( the maid’s husband not the professor ) the maid outside and started beating her. This professor ( as I told, did not have any social exposure like us ) got so offended that he ( rashly ) went and slapped the maid’s husband. Now it was professor’s turn to have some. No, it was not the maid’s husband who beat the professor, it was the maid. She was really pissed off by the professor’s rash and unexpected intervention / interruption, in what she said was “her privacy”. Game is game, the spectators should not gate-crash the sports-arena !!

After she ( the maid ) finished with the professor, the professor had another surprise ( unpleasant for the professor and pleasant for me – I must have my sport too ) waiting for him – his wife ( professor’s wife ) took over from where the maid had left off. Professor’s wife gave him four juicy ones – two for sympathizing with the beautiful maid and one for searching for a new maid and one for the road. Needless to say that our professor is a changed man, a lot saner and a lot wiser now.

“Wife kissers” on the other hand, I am afraid have no future in India. This dangerous activity is almost unanimously considered dangerous, socially offensive and obscene especially in public. India is a land of sadhus and ascetics. 

I know the hostile foreign media will ask this ferocious question that how come, we are almost 130 crores population without that necessary ” wife kissing” ?

Hey, we are a very innovative society. Remember, we are committed to use all energy for peaceful purposes. There are other peaceful,  non violent, respectable and safe “saintly-methods” which bear “good character” especially when, our sadhus and ascetics are always more than willing to give a helping hand or two, to contribute their share to nation-building. After all, they don’t do their discourses 24X7. In between they very efficiently “manage time” for other more productive things and courses. They are very liberal and very kind. Their left hand does not know what their right hand is doing and… their followers, don’t know what these saints are doing with “both” their hands. At times, they give kids with their blessings and at times they give blessings  with “their” kids !!

Our Sree, Sree & Sree DailyEnjoy alone is, not to mention our bench strength… in the form of Don N.D. Tinwari ( Don Non-Stop Donor Tinwari ), capable of giving a great and nerve shattering inferiority complex to Mr. Vicky Donor… !!

Now a million-dollar question :

Between these two ( ‘kissing’ and ‘beating’ ) which is negative and which is positive ?

Yours truly,

‘religiously’ religion-less and ‘religion-less-ly’ religious !!




Posted by on August 2, 2016 in Humor


33 responses to “Wife “Beaters” vs. Wife “Kissers” !!

  1. Vivek Vatsal1

    August 2, 2016 at 9:26 am

    Sir, Hats off to you for writing such a bold and Dabangg!! Post. The punches and sarcasm you’ve used here is going to take the readers on a roller coaster ride for sure!!👍👏

    I hope, the post will, for sure, tear out people off their sunken thoughts and practices!!

  2. shivasiddula

    August 2, 2016 at 10:05 am

    Wife beating is a personal affair can be done with impudence. It is religiously permitted socially accepted! The day when law against domestic violence was passed, I happened to be in the vicinity of a police constable. He was wondering loudly, “how come law says we can’t beat our wife, ridiculous”. This is India. I have to love my country. This is my birth responsibility.

    • surindernath

      August 2, 2016 at 10:10 am

      Recently, one religion’s clergy sanctified “wife beating” under certain given conditions.

      Obviously “given” by the males / husbands !!

  3. kristinagallo

    August 2, 2016 at 10:50 am

    I always like posts with sarcasm. Excellent work and powerful message to violent men.

  4. IreneDesign2011

    August 7, 2016 at 5:43 am

    Very well written post with humor 🙂
    This culture as you describe here is a reason for me, for not going to India either to visit or to live. The lack of respect has much left to wish.
    I have known several kind people from India and I do understand, why they left India for a new life.
    Education is the way.

    • surindernath

      August 7, 2016 at 5:51 am

      Yes, education.

      But in this matter, I am afraid, we need some thing more magical and drastic because some of the wife-beaters… are educated males !!

      Some remedy for ‘male-mindset’ I guess !!

      • IreneDesign2011

        August 7, 2016 at 6:02 am

        Yes, but it should help, when all women also become educated and find out, that they don’t need to live with or accept violence in their lives.
        Often education get abused, when only few are educated.

      • surindernath

        August 7, 2016 at 6:30 am

        Very well said. Thanks !!

  5. crystalamay

    August 8, 2016 at 3:50 am

    Nailed it, in a fun way 😀 even I have seen wife beating sport as I told husband beating players are difficult to find 😀

    • surindernath

      August 8, 2016 at 3:55 am


      Yes ‘husband-beating’ should be developed / promoted, the government should appoint coaches for husband beating. My wife can be a very good, experienced, coach.

      • crystalamay

        August 8, 2016 at 4:00 am

        Ha ha:),hope ur wife is not reading this:)

      • surindernath

        August 8, 2016 at 4:03 am

        No. She does not read my non-sense.
        She is always busy developing her muscles. Some husbands can be too demanding…at times… especially the naughty ones like me !!

      • crystalamay

        August 8, 2016 at 4:06 am

        Ha ha ,I am really impressed by your blog,you are talking about serious problems of india in a fun way with out hurtng others too,need to learn from you and it is a guide to budding bloggers.Thank you:)

      • surindernath

        August 8, 2016 at 4:08 am

        Thanks. I am honoured !!

      • crystalamay

        August 8, 2016 at 4:15 am

        It will be great,if you could give me any suggestions on my work ,as I think you can give a proper advice:)

      • surindernath

        August 8, 2016 at 4:27 am


        A great honour for me to visit your informative and entertaining Blog !!

  6. crystalamay

    August 8, 2016 at 4:10 am

    My pleasure:)

  7. Cradle of Joy

    August 9, 2016 at 5:34 pm

    You can talk on any problem without hurting anyone’s belief! Really a great job! I am impressed!

    • surindernath

      August 10, 2016 at 1:36 am


      Its not me. I am just a loud-speaker in the hands of our Creator and the Creator “can make us” do anything and one day the Creator shall replace me with another speaker.

      I always wanted to write. For two years ( 2012 -2014 ) I did not write anything because I could not. The Creator was using some other loud-speaker !!

      Surprisingly, these days, sometimes I don’t… want to ( I want to do one post in one month )… but He forces me !!

      I myself don’t know why I am doing it !!

      • Cradle of Joy

        August 10, 2016 at 4:07 am

        Really a good thinker! Very happy to meet such a nice person! Thanks to WordPress!

      • surindernath

        August 10, 2016 at 4:11 am

        Thanks. I am honoured Madam.
        I guess “loud speakers” also… have… their days !!

  8. supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

    August 10, 2016 at 2:35 am

    Loved your sense of humor 😀 Though funny, your posts have a strong meaning. 🙂

    • surindernath

      August 10, 2016 at 3:30 am

      So glad to know that.

      Thanks !!

      • supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

        August 10, 2016 at 3:37 am

        You’re welcome sir 🙂

  9. dr sweetyshinde

    August 10, 2016 at 5:13 pm

    Oh u underestimated Indians. We are adept at kissing … ( the feet & err…other ugly parts of human anatomy ) of boss.

    • surindernath

      August 11, 2016 at 12:49 am

      Very right !!

      Thanks for adding value to my post ( ha…ha …) 😀

  10. Rhino House

    August 12, 2016 at 3:12 pm

    Possibly one of the saddest posts I have read. I can weep for India without being Indian.

    • surindernath

      August 12, 2016 at 3:49 pm

      Thanks for supporting the cause !!

  11. K E Garland

    August 15, 2016 at 1:26 am

    Oh my! This is the third post about India’s cultural practices that I’ve read within a week. It’s been very enlightening to learn.

    • surindernath

      August 15, 2016 at 1:36 am

      “… This is the third post about India’s cultural practices ….It’s been very enlightening to learn…”

      Yes, that is because we have a very… vast… and lightning ( for women) culture.

      Thanks 😀 !!


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