We have heard of a lot of interesting exploits, of our worthy surgeons, who forget to collect back, their surgery tools, bits and pieces of their equipment, and unwittingly sending the victim / patient back home, with many surprise-return gifts of a scalpel here and a pair of scissors there.
Ladies and gentlemen you all are very important players in the corporate world of business & trade and are often required, to give your feed back, on and about many people and affairs, in your professional lives.And many or at least, some of you, write your feed back, as if your very life depends on it. At those rare inspired and spirited moments / times, do you always remember to read and re-read and collect back, your surgery T & E ( tools and equipment ) from the body of your feedback ?
WHY FEEDBACK ?
Feedback is a double edged weapon. It can swing both ways and sometimes if not most of the times, it can ‘reverse swing’, towards you and can point a finger directly towards you also, if the HR person at the receiving end is a seasoned player.
Here it is both necessary and important to define the purpose of collecting or giving feedback in the corporate world. The purpose is, definitely not to give you an opportunity to settle the score with your opponent / rival cum colleague or the so ‘perceived / called’, “unfair management” headed by that “unfair and psycho” boss.
It is to give those people at the receiving end, a fair “opportunity” to improve things / themselves.
If you, in your too harsh a feedback, give the person under review, zero then you are denying them a necessary positive starting point to improve upon. By your zero, you are in fact, giving an opportunity and a ’cause’, to the HR / management, to mark you for further improvement – if they so decide to. This is a very dangerous kickback and a very deadly reverse swing of your feed back.
An ideal feed back would be 80 to 90 % positive and 10 to 20 % negative. If you still feel that some more necessary negative points are pending, keep them pending, for the next feed back and there is always a next time.
Therefore, when giving feedback, give feedback, don’t give away yourself and definitely, don’t give kickbacks !!.
In the Indian context, we have so many critic-sportsmen, whose favourite sport is criticism and they play it wearing their favourite sports gear, the mask of “critic friend”. Their main purpose is, to maintain a uniformity of mediocrity in size among their society peers, friends and relatives. No one should try to grow out of size. Their favourite slogan is :
“जितनी चादर हो, उतने ही पैर पसारो”
( before stretching your feet, check the size of your sheet / quilt )
Why can’t we buy a new chaadar / quilt ?
Another specie is the old fashioned teachers, who are the exponents of the famous doctrine / maxim :
“spare the rod and spoil the child”.
Shouldn’t we then merge our schools with the local police stations. Our Indian policemen will make very good teachers. Moreover, they don’t have to buy new rods.
They can very well use their existing old ones as well !!
IMPORTANCE OF APPRECIATION :
These critic friends, go out of their way, to explain to us that appreciation goes to the heads of the persons concerned and stops their further future growth which according to me is, total nonsense. Destructive criticism goes to the head of the recipient and spoils his / her brain computer and kills / reduces, creative ability.
This reminds me, Late Mrs. Indira Gandhi in one of her last interviews, shared this personal experience :
When she was a child, ( under 10 years ) once she was playing with her childhood friends and she overheard her paternal aunt making this remark to Mrs. Gandhi’s late mother about her ( Mrs.Gandhi ) :
” she ( Mrs. Gandhi ) is rather a plain Jane”.
Mrs. Gandhi further told in that rare interview that ” this remark was made more than 70 years ago and even now this haunts me and torments me” !!
And Mrs. Gandhi was called an iron-lady, very strong minded. What about the rest of us who may not be that strong.
One very strong argument given against appreciation is that it is nothing but flattery, buttering.
Ladies and gentlemen, when you ( I don’t ) pray to God what do you say to Him ?
Why such words are used “Omnipotent, Omnipresent, Merciful……”
Doesn’t God already know it ? Surely He does.
Is it flattery ?
That reminds me, of a very powerful and important Indian Deity – Maha Veer Maha Bhakt, Hanuman ji. It is generally believed that we have to remind Him of his powers and exploits because He is so innocent and naive, He doesn’t remember them and only comes to His real powerful self, if we tell and remind Him of those.
Well, if God and Deities need appreciation how about us mortal human beings?
So, never ever try to give a “monumental criticism” to any one because we already know, there is no monument built anywhere, in the memory of ‘great critics’ !!
Whenever you give “a piece of your mind” please make sure it is not used as a “piece” under a biopsy scanner and as a result of it, your own peace of mind is not disturbed.
And if at the receiving end, next time your dear critic friend tells you :
“this tie doesn’t suit you” Or
“this red coloured lip-stick doesn’t suit you”,
please watch his or her bowling action / bowling arm, for any reverse swing !!
‘religiously’ religion-less and ‘religion-less-ly’ religious !!