Crushes & L’s …..and the Expiry Dates !!

06 Feb


Once, very early in my life, on catching common cold, I asked my physician, “how long it will last ?”.
And he replied, “seven days if you take medicines regularly and one week, if you don’t” !!

Isn’t it true, of some of the other happenings in our life too –

crushes, likes, lusts, lures, infatuations, live-ins, loves ?

They all have their own minds, lives, shelf lives and expiry dates.

They come and go…..on their own…..’un-stop-ably’.

And….. many professional careers, die a premature and unexpected death, due to these charming gatecrashers.

As one poet rightly said :

“मरीज़े इश्क पर लानत……..खुदा की

मर्ज़ बढ़ता गया जिूऊँ जिूऊँ दवा की” !!

( ‘Love-struck patients’ are, ‘God-blessed’ in this unique way

More they are treated, more they advance, on their sick way ) !!

And the funniest part is, we always have this utmost sense of privacy about these so called secrets of our ‘secret / not so secret’ socio-professional Life.
Our Creator has, a unique sense of humour, and He likes to exercise it, at the most undesired occasions and affairs. This definitely being one of those pranks of His, which He, very fondly played…….on all…….of us.
We think our “affair” is a secret but this is one secret, which is believed to be and believed to be a ‘secret’, only by the…..two sides involved. Our Creator has fitted us with a very amazing phenomena called body language.

Late Shri Jagjit Singh ji has sung so beautifully :

“कौन कहता है मोहब्बत की ज़ुबान होती है
ये हक़ीकत तो निगाहों से बयाँ……होती है”

( who says love needs a language and expression

This  is conveyed through that gleam in your eyes )

And so, dear professionals watch out, your secret was out the moment it started. Your “own” body language gave you away / let you down.

Therefore, next time, these C & L’s visit you, rest assured that the whole office ( including the boss ) already knows it !!

These C & L’s, are not bad, but confusing / mistaking them, with / for, marriage, could be counter -productive and usually is, counter-productive. C & L’s are undeniably a very important part of marriage but a part can not be and should not be, assumed to be the ‘whole’.

It is like, you ‘like’ the cooking of a good cook and take the cook home.

Your house maid / servant, washes your clothes well and you decide to get married to him / her.

Your first tasty dish, is your first but may not be your last,

your first crush, is your first but may not be your last crush.

your good house maid / servant, could be your first but may not be your last.

Your husband / wife, may be your ‘C & L’ but s /he should also be more – a ‘husband-material’ and a ‘wife-material’.

Your ‘C & L – partner’ is a partner alright and a good partner at that but make sure s / he is a good life-partner as well because as you and me already know a good sleeping – partner, might not ( just might not ) be a good life-partner as well  !!

‘Part-time’ and ‘half-husbands / wives’,…..part company……very early !!


I have come across some youngsters who are simply dying to be love sick.

And they don’t even mind with whom. They are in love with ‘Love’. As one girl remarked about getting married :
” I don’t know with whom but I am definitely sure that it is going to be a love marriage”.
“Any specific reason for that ?”, I asked.
“Oh yes, to teach my ____father a lesson” !!

Playing with life is more dangerous than playing with fire.

ASTROLOGY can help :

In the affairs of getting married matching horoscopes can help ( but not as the final word ).

In male horoscope Venus and the lord of the seventh & 12th house, should not be combust and should not be under the malefic influence of Saturn + Rahu, should not be debilitated, should not be of zero degree, ….etc.

In female horoscope, apart from the above, Jupiter and the lord of the seventh house & 12th, should not be combust, debilitated, should not be of zero degree. Jupiter should not be retrograde…….etc.
In both male and female horoscopes the ascendant and the seventh lord should not be 6th and 8th from each other.

WHICH IS BETTER – Love or arranged marriage ?

A very irrelevant question.

‘Love and arranged’ are two ways to reach and….success…( or failure ), comes after you reach.
And success, most of the times ( not always ) depends on the “acceptance”.

Happiness depends on acceptance not on the ‘choice’ because, no one is complete and perfect. People are like onions, start  peeling back / removing, the layers and be ready for a shock.
The success does not depend upon the onion, it depends upon “My Onion” and mine is forever, can not be replaced. These onions don’t come with a replacement guaranty.
Our father / mother / sister/ brother /son / daughter are not good or bad onions, they are onions. Our acceptance, closed the door on replacement, and……. they started looking “good onions” to us !!

It would be unfair if we talk of Valentine’s Day and valentines and don’t mention / remember Grandpa Adam and Grandma Eve, whom many lovers regard as the First Couple.

Many of the ‘C & Ls’ came into the world after that famous ‘snake in the grass & apple’ incident and that happened many many years after Adam and Eve had already spent many many years in each other’s happy and blissful company.

So, the billion dollar question is, when C & L’s were not even in existence, then “what” was Grandpa Adam looking for, when he went back to God and requested for the creation of Grandma Eve ?.

If you happen to find an answer please share with me and others.

Yours truly,
‘religiously’ religion-less and ‘religion-less-ly’ religious !!




Posted by on February 6, 2015 in Humor


16 responses to “Crushes & L’s …..and the Expiry Dates !!

  1. Ankur Mithal

    February 6, 2015 at 11:26 am

    Could not agree more with some of your statements. They are not good or bad onions, just onions. Fitted with body language. And several others.
    We really cannot control the world, though we try to, and get frustrated when we realise we cannot. To an extent, we may be able to control ourselves.
    I think the “Karmanye vadhikaraste….” shlok of Bhagvadgita captures it beautifully.

  2. Bikramjit

    February 6, 2015 at 2:33 pm

    that is a lot of gyaan sir..

    now i am thinking should i be looking at the cook and the lady who washes the clothes like that 🙂 he he he he

  3. Umair Rehman

    February 6, 2015 at 7:29 pm

    Now that’s a delicious analysis with the topping of ‘wisdom’. So much true.

  4. SaBiscuit

    February 7, 2015 at 10:53 am

    This is nice, one week before Valentine’s Day. You’re right. Love has cost a lot of people their professonal careers. And of course, once you’ve peeled back the layers, we have to accept the ones we choose to love and close the door on replacement. Very wise words indeed, and this post deserves a careful reread. I’ve enjoyed it, and I thank you as always for your warm support.

  5. aspiriteddiva

    February 8, 2015 at 1:11 pm

    How true..good post Sir! 🙂

  6. Awen

    December 31, 2015 at 7:06 am

    This is very wise. I’ve been trying to give unconditional love to someone who won’t peel back layers that are obviously there and when I did the emotional strip tease he wanted the onion layers back, to imagine what was underneath, but not know.

    I married someone I didn’t know (long weird story) and moved to his nation. It was my longest relationship. Were we in love? I wasn’t but I cared and loved him and found without the emotional drama of “being in love” I could have a much easier relationship. Our attitudes about money, tidyness, and monogamy were the same luckily, the three main problems in marriage.

    I.married someone in love with me too good to be true and quickly learned who he really was the day I moved in, someone I’d never like or respect, but had vowed to love. I did my vows faithfully and ended up twice hiding at a fancy psych hospital to get away from the abuse making me insane. He kicked me out a few months after the honeymoon.

    Both my marriages are the only relationships where I didn’t end them. Because I honor vows and tend to love the parts of people they themselves can’t.

    Maybe the only way you know if you’re compatible for a lifetime is to do that lifetime. But we live in a disposable people world, true love soul mates as accessories for our lifestyle that year. The struggles I think would peel back layers and make us accept ourselves and each other, our hidden places we are ashamed of seen as the beautiful humanness we share, our bond even greater from going through each struggle with the awareness that we don’t leave, we learn instead, I’m either very evolved or naive LOL.

    Those who love love will always be disappointed. Those they “love” will be disappointed. There’s no intimacy, no onions even noticed.

    The crush ends when its usefulness ends. When it’s replacement for love arrives, when it’s exposed as the loneliness behind the desire, or when reality threatens its life. It ends in rejection when more than the paper thin layers are revealed.

    • surindernath

      December 31, 2015 at 7:25 am

      Thanks for sharing.

      Yes I agree. Love is a tricky business.

      But as someone very rightly said that it is better to love and lose rather than never to love.

      As I wrote in the post :

      “( ‘Love-struck patients’ are, ‘God-blessed’ in this unique way

      More they are treated, more they advance, on their sick way ) !!”

      Next time you fall in love and decide to marry try taking Astrological guidance.

      It might help.

      • Awen

        December 31, 2015 at 7:45 am

        Actually I’ve studied astrology since I was 9 ! But I wanted to do Jyotish astrology and that’s extremely rare to find a good teacher for in east coast USA! I prefer the sidereal as it’s what we’d see in the sky. Also Vedic astrology doesn’t explain who you are, it’s the starting point for all this information about how to live in harmony. I teach basic western topical astrology and it’s enjoyable to see people learn to read their charts but the inevitable now what to I do?….

        The last astrologer I saw did it Jyotish. It felt much more truely me. I’ve bought books, I understand mansions, I think being raised hippie Hinduism helps me understand the concepts much better, but it’s a whole new system and no book I bought was a clear straight forward manual. I saw some online classes by New Age Euro-Americans selling strip mined crystals to save the Planet and it felt too… wrong.

        Being poor and disabled astrologer readings are completely out of budget, although I do my readings for free so I can serve the whole community. If you know of any reputable astrologers who do sliding scale or a percentage for disabled poor, please tell!

      • surindernath

        December 31, 2015 at 8:03 am

        What I meant is, that it is better to match horoscopes of the boy and the girl prior to their marriage. This can be done online and there are many sites to choose from.

      • Awen

        December 31, 2015 at 11:49 am

        Oooo, that’s cool. I wish the community helped more with young people (and al)l marriages here is some way.

      • surindernath

        December 31, 2015 at 1:41 pm

        Amen !!


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