Mr. Kapil Nibble
National Scams and heavy Steals Minister.
Chairman of the Future Scam-Education and
Zero loss Planning Commission.
My dear Intelligentsia, it is a matter of great pride and a personal privilege for me that I am going to introduce this great intellectual and a great management Guru. In fact, I have only two gurus- one spiritual and the other a Management Guru-Mr. Kapil Nibble. In our Upanishads and holy books it is very clearly written that the secret of success lies in overcoming self and ‘detachment from emotions’ and generally keeping ‘your slate’ clean. And surprisingly, you give any sum, any scam or ‘steal’ to him, in the end he would show you only one answer – zero. Can you have a cleaner answer and a more clean slate? That is why in the corridors of power the famous saying is :
Beg, borrow, scam, eat or…steal
in the end call Nibble to conceal.
Concealing a ‘stealing’ or for that matter, a scam, is a rare art and the person who can perform this magical act has a very hectic job at his or her hands. Certainly that person has a very unenviable position, given the over–enthusiastic media that we have these days. Paparazzi or whatever fancy names they are called by, hardly give you any privacy and we balanced diets enthusiasts, my dear Intelligentsia, hardly get any breathing space. In fact, I strongly suspect that some media houses and T.V. channels have informally opened permanent service counters outside my fellow balanced-diets exponents’ houses. For example my close friend and member of SWA club Mr. ‘Diggy’ Dig Vishey Sing. You find media permanently entrenched in front of his house. I mean, give him a break and privacy to steal and scam and after the execution, you come and have your media bite- veg or non-veg. But no, they simply sit and wait outside. This kind of advance booking is unfair and unconstitutional.
Anyhow, coming back to my management Guru, it is often said that if you want to be a concealer or to borrow a technical term- ‘a fence,’ you must start early as we say an early bird catches a worm (or whatever the early birds catch, i myself am never early). For that we have to go back to this celebrity’s celebrated and distinguished child-hood or shall we safely say, the formative thief-hood days. In school days what he used to do, he would bring his lunch pack and used to slowly nibble it inside the class-room and definitely before the lunch-break. And during lunch-breaks, when other students would go for playing outside, he calmly and quietly used to eat their pack and his rightly deserved and earned, lunches. One day, the matter or the lunch-scam was reported to the worthy principal. He ordered that all the lunch boxes be checked assuming that the suspected student after eating all those lunch packs would and might not had been able to eat and finish his own lunch. All boxes or bags were thoroughly searched and when the search party searched our Nibble’s honest belongings, it was also empty (he had already eaten it). And he loudly thundered :
No theft no stealing, zero scam !!
And as a historian, I may also mention that after that incident, he started being called Nibble and Mr. No theft no Loss and ‘Kapil’ part of his name, became a little subdued and less echoed and prevalent. Owing to his ‘this’ innovative ability even slimming centers across India and the world, are queuing up in front of his house for the revolutionary recipe of balanced diet and zero figure and figures. And he is already believed to have given his consent to that chain of slimming centers – WE LCC.
WE adjust LARGE ‘CONSIGNMENT-CONCEALMENTS’