Monthly Archives: September 2012







         Moods and Modes


Dr. SMS (Sleep-Mode Singh) 





Sleep Mode:

There are so many thorns in my honest flesh. To name a few – Oddvani, Nitdin Galti-kare, Sushma Bapraj, Arun Jo-thi-lee ( Balanced Diet ). One such distinguished thorn, in this long list, is this Arvind Kayee-Sawaal. The man is simply beyond any compassion – no pity and respect for the elderly and his elders. You answer his one question – you know his questions are always difficult and naughty – and the next thing you know, he has another naughty question ready, like my Hitler wife. The man is definitely a public nuisance and too dangerous and notorious for people like me who at 80 are already in search of an old house. In fact, I had almost fixed my eyes on one such royal old house but the clever old fox Dada beat me in the race. And on top of that this Arvind K is troubling me. Earlier he was accompanied by another naughty female – Ms. Kiran Baitthi – and the duo were raising hell, accompanied by their Big Brother. But thank God, good sense prevailed and they left Kayee- Sawaal alone.



This misfit was well settled. Had a nice little place and job. He was in a position to eat as much balanced diet as he wanted. But no, he himself and on his own, developed trouble with his digestion and he came up with this slogan : RTI ( Rehti Thorri Indigestion). Now what can anyone do. If you ask me he was plain unlucky. I mean some can digest, some cannot. He in fact, went on ‘study-leave’ (on department’s expenses and cost) to solve this problem and to do MBA (Management of Additional Balanced-Diet) but could not be cured of this disease or malady. And instead of having some introspection and soul searching he is simply indulging in Dictionary-searching, just to come up with some new fancy questions to stop others from eating balanced diet. Just to give you one example– one of his disciples, has lodged a complaint against the outgoing and out-bound ex President of the SW Club, Ms. Pratibha S.P. (Samaan-Pack-chal), that while leaving she took away all the gifts given to her as President, including the gift given by Uncle Sam ( OMama). I mean this is the limit. I must read a fairly long poem  on this Kayee-Sawaal one day. Sure.  





Active Mode :


Madam ji ……this Kayee-Sawaal is getting naughtier everyday and a pain in ….you know where. Now, he is asking for a white Paper on all expenses, donations and balanced Diet.


H.H. (High Heel) Command :

I will never understand the ‘mysterious Indian male’. Why they keep asking for such useless things. Either they are getting involved in sex scandals or producing unwanted children. And if at all any male is free from these two, he simply asks questions, gives advice or asks for white papers. Come to think of it, our Rah-bhool too asked for so many white papers when he was a student. But the good boy that he is, he never wrote anything on those papers. And why this Kayee-Sawaal of yours is asking for white papers from us? Doesn’t he have his own mother?



Madam ji…. he is very naughty – he wants, we should write all the uncomfortable and secret details and give the white paper to him on all the scandals.


H.H.C :

Very foolish. Who is the fool who made you the PM? Oh me. Yes….Yes. You see if we write anything on a white paper, the paper doesn’t remain white anymore you……I mean PM ji. Tell your Kayee-Sawaal to clarify and make up his naughty mind about the colour of the damn paper.


SMS  :

Ok Madam ji. Ah……. ahm….mmm…err…… Madam ji ……did you by any chance I mean……did you like my comment…..I mean poetry  “Rupya perron par toe lagta nahin”?


H.H.C. :

You and your poetry PM ji. Between you and me the poetry should be, to put the record straight :



                                               रुपये पेड़ों पर तो….लगते नहीं,

                                              तुम PM हो किसी को लगता नहीं                                        



English 😀


                                                 Rupees don’t grow on a tree,

                                                 You PM?…oh you…naughty!!


Posted by on September 26, 2012 in Humor




       F D I (F.D. Aayee) 

(Fixed Deposit has come back)

Dear Intelligentsia, there are times when I feel very sad at being an Indian. No…no…please don’t think that yours truly doesn’t love his India, or shall we say “my India”. But there are times, and I must say there are many such times these days, when my love for my country and my patience, both are thoroughly tested. Take for instance, all this hue and cry about FDI. I don’t know why everyone is objecting. Something is coming in and not going out – for a change! And that too, money, the Goddess Lakshmi herself, is coming. And on top of that, it is our money, which is coming back. 



You all are great men and women of business and trade and you very well know how much “hangama” was created on the issue of so called “black money” by everyone including our Ms. Chipak of that famous(or infamous) channel ‘Bhor & Bore-well Live’ and other Paparazzi in general especially, that half-clad, lady-winking, mischievous Baba Kamdev. They all rarely agree on one issue (I understand, educated people do feel insulted, if they are ‘caught red-handed’ agreeing with anyone) but on this particular point, they were almost unanimous – bring back “black money”, as if their very life depended upon it. And come to think of it, how money can be “black”? – Goddess Lakshmi!!




Anyhow, coming back to the main topic of FDI – in nutshell, it is coming back or to be more precise, coming back home. Only difference being it would be on someone else’s name, some fancy name – Robert ( hey, not that….Robert Wah-Draw, the famous son in law ) or some Italian name ‘Quote-kar-ke-roti’ or should it be rotchi? Well I don’t know. You know, yours truly, is not an authority on Italian names. Besides, it is off the topic. I mean what is there in a name – one is as good or as corrupt as the other. So, the money, on its journey back, would be on someone else’s name. Not a big deal. All females in our country change their names after marriage. And so what if this female – I mean “black money”- also changes her name.





No wonder our dear H.H. Command and Dr. SMS are very angry and dejected. In fact, Dr. SMS, in his own unique, poetic style ( Active – mode, ‘teekha lal’ – mood ) , was heard saying :



 वो मेरे किसी तरेह ना हुअए जा के देखा ना जाके देख……लिया
अब और क्या देखने को बाकी है हमने FDI भी ला के देख लिया



                                                                         “HAIN…..Ji ?”  😀


Posted by on September 19, 2012 in Humor




   Dedicated to Dr. SMS 😀

               I have coal, I have cooking gas and I have diesel,

               Oh, I am passionate about all things…inflamable!


Have some music or poems but please do take a coal mine on hire,

Oh, I have this hobby, a passion……..Nero cannot think beyond fire.



Posted by on September 14, 2012 in Humor




Dedicated to Dr. SMS 😀

उनको देख कर जो आ जाती है चेहरे पे हसीं
वो सोचते है ……..मरीज का हाल अछा है !!


(not mine, sardarji)

English 😀


We are laughing Sardar ji, alright uhooo

But AT you and definitely not,WITH you !     😀

(mine, sardarji)


Posted by on September 14, 2012 in Humor




 Mr. Kapil Nibble                                      


National Scams and heavy Steals Minister.

Additional Charge:

Chairman of the Future Scam-Education and

Zero loss Planning Commission.

My dear Intelligentsia, it is a matter of great pride and a personal privilege for me that I am going to introduce this great intellectual and a great management Guru. In fact, I have only two gurus- one spiritual and the other a Management Guru-Mr. Kapil Nibble. In our Upanishads and holy books it is very clearly written that the secret of success lies in overcoming self and ‘detachment from emotions’ and generally keeping ‘your slate’ clean. And surprisingly, you give any sum, any scam or ‘steal’ to him, in the end he would show you only one answer – zero. Can you have a cleaner answer and a more clean slate? That is why in the corridors of power the famous saying is :


                                                             Beg, borrow, scam, eat or…steal

                                                             in the end call Nibble to conceal.


Concealing a ‘stealing’ or for that matter, a scam, is a rare art and the person who can perform this magical act has a very hectic job at his or her hands. Certainly that person has a very unenviable position, given the over–enthusiastic media that we have these days. Paparazzi   or whatever fancy names they are called by, hardly give you any privacy and we balanced diets enthusiasts, my dear Intelligentsia, hardly get any breathing space. In fact, I strongly suspect that some media houses and T.V. channels have informally opened permanent service counters outside my fellow balanced-diets exponents’ houses. For example my close friend and member of SWA club Mr. ‘Diggy’ Dig Vishey Sing. You find media permanently entrenched in front of his house. I mean, give him a break and privacy to steal and scam and after the execution, you come and have your media bite- veg or non-veg. But no, they simply sit and wait outside. This kind of advance booking is unfair and unconstitutional.




Anyhow, coming back to my management Guru, it is often said that if you want to be a concealer or to borrow a technical term- ‘a fence,’ you must start early as we say an early bird catches a worm (or whatever the early birds catch, i myself am never early). For that we have to go back to this celebrity’s celebrated and distinguished child-hood or shall we safely say, the formative thief-hood days. In school days what he used to do, he would bring his lunch pack and used to slowly nibble it inside the class-room and definitely before the lunch-break. And during lunch-breaks, when other students would go for playing outside, he calmly and quietly used to eat their pack and his rightly deserved and earned, lunches. One day, the matter or the lunch-scam was reported to the worthy principal. He ordered that all the lunch boxes be checked assuming that the suspected student after eating all those lunch packs would and might not had been able to eat and finish his own lunch. All boxes or bags were thoroughly searched and when the search party searched our Nibble’s honest belongings, it was also empty (he had already eaten it). And he loudly thundered :


                                                              No  theft  no stealing, zero scam !!



And as a historian, I may also mention that after that incident, he started being called Nibble  and Mr. No theft no Loss and ‘Kapil’ part of his name, became a little subdued and less echoed and prevalent. Owing to his  ‘this’ innovative ability even slimming centers across India and the world, are queuing up in front of his house for the revolutionary recipe of balanced diet and zero figure and figures. And he is already believed to have given his consent to that chain of slimming centers – WE LCC.  


                                                WE adjust LARGE ‘CONSIGNMENT-CONCEALMENTS’ 


Posted by on September 3, 2012 in Humor