Moods and Modes
Dr. SM Singh (Sleep Mode Singh)
Sleep Mode :
I vaguely remember,…. my name must have been… or should have been Mohana. I am almost sure….. someone used to call me by that name….. but who that person was, I have forgotten. Who can remember….. unimportant details, I mean…… what is there in a name. And my latest habit of slipping into sleep-modes has also…. not helped much in this direction……. These days I am rarely on active mode. Now some call me SM Singh (Sardar Mute Singh), some (very annoying) call Mon Mon Singh and some call me Servant Memsaab Singh– of that imported HHC (High-heel-Command).
Not that I am complaining…… On the contrary,….. this sleep mode….. has proved to be a blessing in disguise. It is this habit or I should say ….. this mode which won me this rare honour of being the PM. Otherwise I was just an ordinary person……. a small-time sleep-walker at SWA who had this dubious distinction of possessing this peculiar talent of staying on sleep-mode for the longest recorded, periods of time , at least in India. And it so happened,……. Madam needed only such a luminary at that point of time in the History of Modern India. I mean a classic case of being……. the right man at the right time. Madam needed a sleep-moder and I was not only a sleep-moder but……. on top of that a SWA (Sleep Walker Abyss) Life member.
Active Mode :
High heel command : yes PM ji ?
PM : Madam ji, Hain ji, This opposition leader Odd-Vani is troubling me. What I should do or say. Please allow me to throw a paper weight at him or at least a paper ball. Please Madam JI !
H.H. Command : No, no, paper weights should not be wasted. Moreover paper weight unions have already sent in their representations saying their members should not be thrown at NDA (Naked Desires Alliance) members. They think it is derogatory and undermines their dignity and honour. They are ready to be used against mosquitoes and mad dogs.
PM : Madam ji, Next week we have bilateral talks with Pakistan. ISI has told they woiuld stop cross border terrorism if we answer their one question – which came first, hen or the egg? What is the right answer, Madam ji? Hain.. Ji?
H.H.C : Well I don’t know. Ask RAW people or call a cabinet-meeting.
PM : RAW has no clues Madam ji. My cabinet colleagues are troubling me ,They go to Tihar jail and lock the door from inside and make faces at me. And on top of that, the Cock who is involved, has also gone to court for parent hood rights on the egg, claiming “live-in-relationship” with the hen. So the matter has become sub-judice, Madam ji.
H.H.C. : OK, then I have to consult American Administration. Meanwhile you release the press statement that the media is making mountains out of mole-hills , UPA (Unholy Parasites Alliance) members’ time should not be wasted and the hen also is of a questionable character and she has had many biological interactions with many other cocks. My God, I am fed up solving their sex mysteries and ‘who-done-it’ stuff. First it was N.D. Tinwari, then Baalu’s 11 children then Shri, Shri and Shri DailyEnjoy‘s misadventures with Victory. Don’t males in India do anything else for a change?…..!!!
PM : Madam ji, 15 Aug is coming. What I should wear, what speech I should deliver ?Hain ji ?
H.H.C. : Eh…don’t wear anything …..I mean nothing special. Wear the same 8 years old white dress which I gave you and tell some fresher novice in your secretariat to write your speech. Eat your usual break-fast that day and tell the usual thing to the sleeping junta – problems will be solved next year. And we both know where you will be next year and where our ‘good for nothing’ Rah-bhool baba is going to be. Amen!! Touch wood. Come let me touch your head.
Sleep Mode :
Who….. am ……..I ……..who is this…….imported thing……sitting in front of me…….what is her name……Sheela ?…….Munni…….no…no….Has she also come to collect a character-certificate from me like others?…….What is….. my name……Rakhi Sawant ? …..no….no how my name could be Rakhi…….…where am I? Questions….Questions !!! ………….