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An ‘Odd’ ode to “Odd-Even”…Delhi ‘Eshtyle’ !!

MONKEY CAP 2

 

Unconfirmed “BREAKING NEWS” : filed by the well known ‘journalisht’ Ms. Chipak of famous / infamous, “Bhor se Borewell Tak” Channel :

Hello viewers, there has been a great epic story and one lesser epic story, in the ‘making’ for many hours in the capital. We bring both to you ( we are the first ) to update, as always,  our idle, unsuspecting, addicted viewers, in our programme “NOW AT THIS OUR AND…NOT SO OUR… HOUR” !!

 

Lesser Epic story :

Motivated by its over crowded & over zealous hoarding installations and TV adds, the Delhi’s Sadak Chap Party spokes person, Madam Odd Even has herself decided that she is going to be tried in the Governance also. According to Madam Odd Even, there has been “an almost accepted” consensus on the governance issue. Mr. Kayeeswal will govern on odd days ( as he is already accepted as Mr. Odd ) and  the Govn’r will govern on even days ( as by now he has become an expert at getting even ) And surprisingly, both have agreed not to govern….. on working days and week ends.

 

Epic Story :

The controversy started  on a very harmless looking development when the makers of the film “Fukre” contacted Mr. Kayeesawal to play the lead role in the sequel : “Fukre – 2”. Both the sides agreed and almost every thing was finalized but a major controversy started on the issue of costume. Mr. Kayeesawal suggested to demufflerize himself and in order to give a new look to himself and the party, announced that his new dress will be Monkey Cap. Both the sides agreed. But volcano of sorts erupted from an unexpected source- MCRA ( Monkey Civil Rights Association ). The MCRA wants that as Monkey Cap is their national dress and their “the Identity” so, they have demanded a written certification cum undertaking from the “makers” and Mr. Kayeesawal that at no point of time their monkey cap will be coughed into or on to. MCRA has already moved some unknown courts and got a stay on this. We have personally contacted MCRA President Mr. Kanayia Owehshi and this is what he said :

 

“We want freedom of dress and identity and I make it very clear that we want this freedom within India only and not from India as we fully honour the constitution. Monkey Cap is an emotional issue. We cannot allow any one to insult it by coughing on to it. Our Monkey kind is ready to make the supreme sacrifice for it and shall not hesitate even for a second, to die for it.”

 

 

And we also contacted Mr. Kayeesawal who as usual, was very very adamant and this is what he had to tell us  :

 

” I was born at a very third class place….. ji,

Fighting and creating controversy  is in my blood… ji,

Who so ever has drunk his mother’s milk may come…ji

I have coughed and am coughing and shall continue …ji

My party will cough on Jantar Mantar, in front of Taj Mahal… ji”.

 

 

So, the temperature and the tempers, both are rising in the capital.

 

 

This is  Chipak reporting

from the capital along with the

camera person Mr. Nosey Parker.

 

 

Yours truly,

‘religiously’ religion-less and ‘religion-less-ly’ religious !!

SN

http://in.linkedin.com/pub/surinder-nath/4b/ba4/43b

 
2 Comments

Posted by on April 25, 2016 in Humor

 

Hail “Munna Bhai ISI” Chain of Clinics !!

( Pakistan has sent ‘Joint Investigation Team’ to India, to investigate “Pathankot Terror Attack”- a news item ).

DOCTOR

Hail the new doctor in Town – a Pak Saaf Munna Bhai from our neighboring flourishing Economy. Today the Team M.B. ISI have opened ‘their’ first clinic in India as their ‘many years-old’ American clinic is already doing a lucrative business in America and has been a…..H..U…G…E……Success  !!

Soon there shall be a chain of clinics all over the world.

There are doctors and doctors but Munna Bhai ISI doctors are considered to be very effective and cost-effective ( I mean in the long run ). Some of the benefits ( just some, not all ) :

You don’t have to spend much on investigation, research  etc. because this line of medicine provides all under one roof – a disease is developed under fully safe and secured labs under the direct and personal supervision of the international experts. Then it is carefully gift-packed and exported to the ‘needy’ country. Then  a different team from the same clinic is sent for treatment ( a detailed all pervasive treatment ) on demand- as and when required.

While exporting the ‘disease-product’ special care is taken and there is no discrimination, as far as the quality is concerned. India gets the same quality which America does ( and we all know America is paying billions of dollars to Munna Bhai ISI and we are paying nothing !! ) . Really commendable.

A special discount is given ( in doctor’s bill ) to the countries which call Munna Bhai ISI Team for treatment also. “They” know the disease so well, so they save huge ‘operational and investigation’-costs  ( all know diagnostic tests are so expensive ) and are very kind and honest to share their savings with their clients cum patients. A very appreciable trade practice I must say.

 

In fact I am so overwhelmed with this kind offer of ‘Buy one, get one free’ that I want to sing a very old Hindi song :  

 गरीब जान के हमको न यूं भुला देना

तुम्हीं ने दर्द दिया, तुम ही दवा देना !!

( English translation- both my English and Hindi are weak so don’t mind if my translation is not perfect or is a little off the mark. But I am so moved now that even God can not stop me from singing )

“O Dear Munna Bhai ISI,

America is a rich country

We are a…. poor country,

Still we beg you – be kind,

We know you give disease & medicine ‘both’ to  America,

We also request you, give us “both” like U do to America” !!

 

Yours truly,

‘religiously’ religion-less and ‘religion-less-ly’ religious !!

SN

http://in.linkedin.com/pub/surinder-nath/4b/ba4/43b

 
6 Comments

Posted by on March 29, 2016 in Humor

 

Freedom, Liberty & Independence !!

DrIVING

 

FLIFreedom, Liberty and Independence ) are such wonderful things that if you think they are temporary ….they become permanent and if you think they are permanent they become temporary !!

If one small  time ( from Hyderabad ) leader’s uttering and vomiting are of any indication, then Indian society has already started thinking that the Independence and the Freedom achieved in 1947 are permanent.

FLI are the three most valuable and the most sought after, precious things but sadly, only the societies which don’t have them… value them… as such. Those who have ( FLI ), start sleeping on them or some of them, start misusing.

Chutbhayias, Kanayiaas, Kan-khujayias,  and O-Vehshies are multiplying in India. Time to think our FLI are temporary – if it is not already too late  !!

Globally also, the position is no different. The terrorists can not be reached and therefore can not be counseled but the educated and the civilized are also not helping and are definitely behaving, in an uneducated and uncivilized manner. Making fun of Prophet Mohammed is one such example and certainly was in a very poor taste and was both unfair and uncalled for. This is not Freedom of Expression- it is a gross misuse of it !!

My freedom is OK within my boundary wall and my neighbor’s within his. If I start making mischievous remarks / comments about his wife, I have definitely started misusing my so called “freedom”.

The western developed countries have given us ( or at least a big chunk of it )  and taught us  FLI. We thank them for it but now, they need not and may not, lead us… to teach how to misuse FLI.

If I am going on a highway I am using my freedom. But there also, I don’t have the freedom to change my lane and speed as per my whims and fancies. Moreover, if and when I reach a red light, then what is freedom – to jump the red light or…. to….. stop ?

 

 

Yours truly,

‘religiously’ religion-less and ‘religion-less-ly’ religious !!

SN

http://in.linkedin.com/pub/surinder-nath/4b/ba4/43b

 
4 Comments

Posted by on March 26, 2016 in Humor

 

“Gay -Way” …… Cure-Way vs. Promote-Way !!

 PSYCHATRY
After the honourable Supreme Court of India’s verdict regarding ‘homosexuality not being a crime’, much hype is created by the Gay Lobby and they think their stand and status of being Gay is justified and legitimized. I more or less agree – homosexuality is NOT a crime.
 
But see, there are so many things in this world which are not crimes – insomnia, night time snoring, common cold, head-ache …..etc. These are tendencies or abnormalities which people develop and… certainly no one tries to portray them as trophies and God’s Prashadam ( gifts) which must be displayed and promoted. The sufferer tries to solve them like any other personal problem. If I catch or have common cold, do I have a right to promote common cold by forming a “Common Cold Society” attracting / influencing / enticing, more members ?
“GOD-COMPLEX” : whatever happens to me is divine and must be “forwarded” to humanity :-
I strongly feel that these Gay- victims / patients cum enthusiasts, in addition to having one abnormal tendency / complex, also  suffer from another…… God-Complex. They think they are a superior breed who is on the same page with God ( God being their whats-app Buddy ) and whatever they have / catch /develop / receive is GOOD & DIVINE ( because it happened to “THEM” ) and…must be promoted, shared and forwarded (like a prashadam) to others.
 
Surprisingly, majority of these respectable, normal people ( having ‘an abnormal tendency’ ) are “believers” and have full faith in God. They forget that God is also our Creator / Manufacturer. And HE ( and ONLY HE ) has created “Male- female arrangement or set up” with a very clear cut purpose – Creation. Sex is for that purpose. Yes much needed enjoyment is also attached with it but that is a bonus – an added advantage /  attraction.
Yes, “they”  claim that they also are capable of “creating-Creation”   in their own peculiar way but who wants to be their child – a child who would have two fathers and no mother or a child who would have two mothers and no father –  really an abnormal child, to say the least !!
 
To be fair, yes… sometimes, some products ( rarely ), do develop some kind of malfunctioning and like all good manufacturers the Creator has opened many ‘after – sales / after –  manufacture’, “service-centers” where any abnormality or malfunctioning or for that matter any hormonal mix up, can be helped with /  cured.
 
Every city, every locality has so many psychiatrists ( Creator’s Service Centers ) specifically for these willing / unwilling but honorable, patients.
 
Walk in and GET WELL SOON !!
 
 AMEN  !!
 

Yours truly,

‘religiously’ religion-less and ‘religion-less-ly’ religious !!

SN

http://in.linkedin.com/pub/surinder-nath/4b/ba4/43b

 

 
16 Comments

Posted by on March 18, 2016 in Humor

 

Media the… “i(con)” and the…Tycoon !!

CON ART

 

 

 

Con I

Pillars of Democracy :

 

Legislature, Executive, Judiciary…… and….later on we added the fourth pillar – Media.

 

The idea was, if the the three pillars  develop or indulge in malpractices, the fourth should be there to correct.

Has the Media been successful in that role ?

“Well………. let me think………..” !!

BUT….BUT….. the answer should have been a straight and spontaneous “Yes”  !!

 

 

Yours truly,

‘religiously’ religion-less and ‘religion-less-ly’ religious !!

SN

http://in.linkedin.com/pub/surinder-nath/4b/ba4/43b

 

 

 

 

 
14 Comments

Posted by on March 11, 2016 in Humor

 

Universities – thorough Professional & Holy… Pilgrimages !!

War

Universities have become great……pilgrimages,

A place where Media hunts for TRP-rich images,

 

Traitors visit and are greeted with…..flowers

Leaders visit and are blessed with followers !!

 

Universities were places where Teachers….educated masses

But now they are professionals, come and…conduct classes !!

 

Teachers are not the only ones, to conduct classes, shape career,

Come all…under one roof…Tom Dick & Harry….More the merrier !!

 

 

Yours truly,

‘religiously’ religion-less and ‘religion-less-ly’ religious !!

SN

http://in.linkedin.com/pub/surinder-nath/4b/ba4/43b

 
9 Comments

Posted by on February 20, 2016 in Humor

 

Intelligentsia’s Honeymoon-2

KUMBH KARAN @ 2

 

Kumb Karan

 

At last….at last, our dear…..intelligentsia

KumbhKaran is awake having…insomnia  !!

 

Some ranting, some panting and some puking-

out undigested honour, called award returning !!

 

Bombay Blasts…… did not disturb….!!

You see, 26 /11  did not……disturb….!!

 

Kashmir…..Kashmiries…… did not,

Punjab..Punjabies, 1984 could  not  !!

 

But today…one word…did… it  !!

One….song..one word..did…it ? !!

 

One other celeb, the…intelligentsia,

came out of unfinished lusty inertia !!

 

But then, his wife is…….disturbed,

The wife, for whom he abandoned,

 

his dear, lawfully wed first wife  !!

Whom he gave word &..his Life  !!

 

 

Don’t disturb, he is…in his latest honeymoon !!

A “loving leaving kind” an intellectual tycoon !!

 

If disturbed may leave his Mother’s hand !!

May leave even…his dear…..Mother land !!

 

 

Yours truly,

‘religiously’ religion-less and ‘religion-less-ly’ religious !!

SN

http://in.linkedin.com/pub/surinder-nath/4b/ba4/43b

 

 
30 Comments

Posted by on November 24, 2015 in Humor

 
 
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