In case of brown sugar / heroin, it is said, that you are hooked the first time itself and damned…. permanently….!!
Same is almost true, of most of the male-female dating / courtships, in India. For an average Indian male ( of course, there are exceptions ), having an affair with a girl is one way traffic. Getting in, is… easy, getting out… is tricky ( for the female).
No…no ….I don’t mean Indian boys are villains.They are mostly well behaved and decent. The problem is the typical Indian male mind set, the male ego. The society in general is such that it grooms the boy for the best and the best doesn’t incorporate rejection. And the society grooms the girls this way ( mostly, not each and every family) that she is trained to take rejection in her stride.
Therefore, let me make it very clear that Indian males are not the villains but rather, as much victims, of the social paradigms, as the girls are !!
PEER PRESSURE :
Another very powerful factor in this matter, is the peer pressure, the so called ‘manhood and honour’. The said boy’s image, among his friends, is hugely damaged if he has to face a “break-up” !!
Yes, education is spreading and spreading very fast and changes are visible. Education has brought in dating, Valentine day celebrations, red roses and “live-ins” but our male dominated society, needs some more time, to be ready and tolerant about the “break-ups”.
Just to give you one example, have a look at this very very popular song from a very hit Hindi film “Dil Hi To Hai” ( 1963 ) beautifully sung by Late Shri Mukesh :
तुम अगर मुझ को न चाहो तो..कोई बात नहीं
तुम किसी और को चाहोगी..तो मुश्किल होगी !!
( If you don’t love me…I have…no problem,
But if you love someone else…big problem ) !!
In case you are thinking that it is simply a threat, have second thoughts. Some ladies also thought so and actually ( and virtually, literally) found themselves at the receiving end of a very fearsome punishment from their lovers – an acid attack :
Of course the Indian Law takes its own course – a few years imprisonment for the “misguided youth” ( that is what our society and many political leaders think in general ). For the girl though, the trauma and the scars…..are….permanent for life ( if such an existence can be called a life ).
In nutshell, we can say that if the French men are famous all over the world for their “Love -making”, the Indian males are also not far behind….they ‘take’ the cake, for their “Love-taking” !!
So, the next time an Indian boy comes up with a “friendship request”, it is better to be just a friend in the beginning with a warning that…..conditions apply :
“I am engaged to someone or I am already in a relationship”.
Test the boy for some months at least, if not for years and in due course if you are satisfied, then share the pleasant truth with him and waive off the condition. This way, you will always be carrying ‘the three aces’ in the relationship, and shall be in the driver’s seat, at least in the first vital, decisive months… right ?
‘religiously’ religion-less and ‘religion-less-ly’ religious !!